Saturday, Aug. 14, 2004 - 10:23 a.m.

WHAT A BIG WHINER!!!!!!

I am going to leave that last entry up just to remind myself how pathetic I can get when I take my eyes off You and forget the absolutes that I know about You and your relationship with me. I am troubled about a tendency I have been aware of in this journal for some time. I am starting to sound cynical and in most of the entries, I have lost my joy. 'Restore unto me, the joy of my salvation', 'the joy of the Lord is my strength', 'weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning.'

The Marquis is at the hospital. The brakes have squealed a little when applied for several years, have gotten louder since spring, and started to grind yesterday. I was reluctant to let the local Ford/Mercury dealer deal with it as they are not honest (more about that another time) and the bigtown dealership where we bought the car is too far away. Taking it there would have been three 90 mile round trips with 2 vehicles and two days taken up. But our local Big O fixes brakes too so that is where the Marquis is this morning.

Many years ago I read a book that touched upon the 3 options open to us, Your children, when faced with adversity. We can fight against the problems, we can endure like a martyr, or we can bloom where we are planted. I have been very good at enduring, and, after having known You for 41 years, I don't fight against the problems very often, but I really like blooming the best. Sometimes that can seem like a very simplistic, and self-brainwashing (I forgot the word for that)existence, but it is the only way to keep the fruits of the Spirit abounding. Make it so, please.

EE's devotional

newAutumn Leaves

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