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Monday, Nov. 17, 2003 - 7:17 a.m. One step forward, two steps back I was just reading my September 17 entry about 1d. As of today, 2 months later she has regressed even further back that last spring. The hospital stay showed nothing conclusive except for stress related issues, and it was suggested that the trouble's origin was mental. That is entirely conceivable. 800, his older brother, 2 sisters, a niece, and his father all went through some kind of breakdown in their late 30's or 40's, that required a cessation of what they had been doing and a change of lifestyle. Two of the more recent ones did the tranquilizer routine which worked for them, rather than lifestyle change. Naturally all were very silent about their individual times of pain but I am starting to believe that it may be a genetic thing. I remember when 800 went through his deal and I don't think it ever wore completely off. We all just learned to adjust. And You were there, so it wasn't a disaster. One who doesn't have many nerves or doesn't react in that way to stress may not have much patience with all the hoopla. That is just the time to hunker down and pray, isn't it? My own mom was diagnosed as schizophrenic and spent years in a mental institution, doing drug therapy with lithium, and having shock treatments. As soon as she would be released and off of the medication for a while, the hallucinations and voices would begin to plague her again. As she grew older- late 60's -the symptoms lessened causing me to think it may have been hormonal. I have always watched myself for signs of insanity. Haven't noticed anything, but isn't that what they all say? I have had a couple of moments in my life when I felt I was about to lose it, but they passed. I think often of the verse 'for God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a strong mind' and I hang on tight to You. Please help 1d to turn all the way to You and hold on tight. That is her only hope too. Your thoughts for her are good and for her best. In the meantime, I have a huge list of 'have to do things' for today. It is the day to enroll for January classes. I must get the request for 800's birth certificate mailed today with a money order so I can get my pension payments rolling, even though they will be retroactive back to November 1. I also have to get some things about the company sponsored COBRA straightened out and send the December payment. Preparations for Thanksgiving and Christmas, insurance payments for 800 and 1d are coming up. Mail order gifts from the National Federation of Wildlife are to be seriously thought about this week. There is a 4000 piece mailing about the revival meetings next week that must be finished Wednesday night after prayer time. More, more, more is piling on my list. One step at a time is the very best way. Help me to think clearly and hold on to all the pieces for me please. - - Later: Thank You, thank You, thank You! I got most of my list done very satisfactorily. Didn't have to send away for a birth certificate. A phone call with a nice lady straightened it out. Cleared up the mistake at Job Service, enrolled for next semester, may get the semester's membership at racquetball club paid, bought good groceries at good prices, solved the COBRA problem and will mail the info now,------I am so blessed to be Your child!!! 
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