Wednesday, Apr. 23, 2003 - 2:08 p.m.

Waiting

800 and 1d are on their way to bigtown to the neurologist's office. He is to read the results of last Friday's EEG for 1d. We already know from the radiology tech that there is an abnormality there that is irreversible but controllable. That probably means she has an eschemic area which is dead brain cells. That is probably what caused the seizure last week, and possibly other problems. Her doctor has known for about a year that her sleep apnea is not a normal kind, but has very low O2 levels. We took her in Monday night about 2 to ER after a small seizure. The oncall doctor had a Chemical Metabolic Profile done. He also told us he did not see a tumor in the Cat scan done on last Thursday, but did see an area of eschemia. What is causing the death of the brain cells is unknown right now. She had a high red cell count, which as a nurse she recognized as a possibility of clots forming, traveling to the brain and doing damage before the body broke them up. Perhaps she has had some small strokes.

It is all very scary. If we did not know You, we would be very scared. As it is, we rest continually in Your peace, waiting for Your direction, trusting in Your love.

1d is very concerned about her future. If the seizures continue, that is the end of her nursing career, at least on the floor. It may also limit her driving,perhaps necessitating a move in with us. That is a problem since they really like littletown and d is doing well in the school. He will be 15 this summer and perhaps he can do the driving for them. She is also frightened for her children. It has taken all she has to get this far, and to go on disability or worse yet, to be disabled just enough to take a simple job, seems to be deeper water yet.

In the meantime, she and the children are sleeping downstairs here, I or 800 drive her around for her various needs, we drive to littletown twice a day for d's school, cook extra meals that old people have deleted, stay up later, and myriad other details of life that involve having a young family around. And we are so pleased to do it. It is wearing on us to watch for another seizure, but that situation will either soon be made better with seizure medication, or it will get much worse with the need for a whole new program. We will just take each step as it comes.

I called SSA and got the ball rolling for a disability rating if needed. I also called the local community action, which was distributing food. Since 1d was out a month with e's mono, she qualified easily to receive foodstuffs. She felt very humbled to go in and get it, but she has paid in thousands over the last years at her nurse's job. I am going to try to get some extra time at work. I have been refusing it because of my knee, but my seniority should make me eligible for any overtime hours that come up. Give me strength, Father, and if You have another way,lead us there. Moment by moment with You is the order of our days, but that has been the order of our days in good weather or bad. Please heal our girl. But overall, not our wills, but Yours.

EE's devotional

newAutumn Leaves

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