2002-01-15 - 11:12 a.m.

sorry

sorry----------------

Well, I feel sorry for anyone who isn't me tonite---- That song has been runnning through my mind since day before yesterday. That is all I remember of it, if I ever knew any more. Is that how a Jewish man felt as he thanked God for making him a man? If so, I understand it from a different point of view now. It is not a statement of moral superiority or pride, just a gratitude of being me.

Thinking about personality traits and labels. Am I a closet melancholic? I don't usually think so, altho I did at one time think I was a melancholic. I was laughed out of that idea pretty fast. "You, who doesn't care for my feelings, who doesn't try to make me feel happy, who doesn't -------(take your pick from a million different things)--a melancholic?" That is when I learned there can only be one melancholic in any partnership and I wasn't it. Perhaps I became a closet melancholic then.

I do have some melancholic traits. Listen, can you hear the William Tell overture as the Great Rationalizer rides again? I like to look out at the rain and feel blue. I like artistic things like music, paintings, beauty. However, some of my likes in those areas can bounce off the wall pretty hard. I like to express my thoughts and read other thoughts. On the minus side, I have a great many traits of the sanguine personality, also. I am shallow in friendship, enthusiastic, short attention span, but maybe that is a protective covering. I think, as with most of the self analysis tests I have read, that very few of us really know ourselves. Rather we see us as others have forced us to look through their eyes, or how we would like to be, or any of many other reasons to see us askew.

You know the real us and You love me. Jesus, the One who would rather die than live without me.

EE's devotional

newAutumn Leaves

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