2001-12-18 - 11:37 a.m.

Whine-whine-whine

Whine-whine-whine---------

Wrote a long entry just an hour ago about the perils of 1d and her horrible mother. Sure glad that one got lost. The only important thing in it is renewal of a decision I made at the first of the year. I need to pray for my children, holding them up before You. Very little of my influence is going to result in life changes for them. The time for a parent to influence the life of a child is when they are a child.

I'm eating my thoughts (sure glad I kept my mouth shut as words are alot harder to digest) about inlaws and their distance emotionally from grandchildren. That is the very best policy. Love 'em to bits, but with an emotional wall in place. I think that must be easier with ones who are farther away. No,no,no, don't move them. I'll be better, I promise!!

I haven't done one single Christmas thing on these, my days off. I'll go to work tonite and then again Saturday nite, then again the Saturday nite after Christmas then back full time the 2nd. Think I shall make my supervisor's no-fail fudge when I go upstairs. It is a can of sweetened condensed milk and a package of chocolate chips melted together with other things like nuts, marshmallows and raisins added if desired. That's about my level of candy-making.

Mamma sometimes made divinity, fluffy white mounds on waxed paper. Hers always turned out. I tried it once or twice with the usual results. One recipe I had used Jello and it did look ok, just didn't taste like divinity. I wonder what Mamma's life would have turned out like if Daddy hadn't become an alcoholic and lost his welding job. We lost the little place with an orchard, home, chicken-house, little cabin, surrounded with a wall made of river stones. Daddy had built on to it , making an addition with a bathroom and possibly a larger living area. I remember the breakfast nook with benches around it that stuck out from the rest of the house. In the pictures I have, it is quite small. I was only 6 when we left. They had separated and Mamma took her half of the place and bought a trailer house. Sometime during the next year, the flood took place and she and Daddy were back together. Then she began to be mentally unstable. It seems to have been a vicious circle. She got more unbalanced and he drank more uncontrollably, and 2 little girls wondered what was happening.

Another case of decisions made that affect years and lives to come. I'm glad we can't see the ends of the roads we might have taken. Shall we in Heaven? Is that why You will wipe away tears. Maybe tears of thanksgiving, too, as we see what could have happened.

EE's devotional

newAutumn Leaves

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