2001-09-13 - 11:05 a.m.

bad k

I'm slowly getting the downstairs back to normal or better. Re-evaluating what I absolutely can't live without around me. I have lots of food stored up, which is one reason I probably don't panic over being broke or disasters. I tried to help the broke problem by asking to work on prep nite instead of using seniority. Would have gone in at 4am but didn't have to.

I also skipped fbc. I think I may be pouting. Am I allowed to do that? What are my reasons? Let's get the ugly little things out in the open where I can look at them.

The new has worn off.

They didn't call me about the disaster prayer time(good thing--it is very evident my petitions wouldn't go very far)

I had to work(hasn't bothered me at other times)

We're always outsiders(so? what is new?)

I am ticked because 2d was questioned about singing at a friend's last time at conbc.

2d was sick and I was still feeling ucky.

I am lazy.

All of the above, and none have anything to do with You. Does it matter to You, other than the fact that I matter to You and You desire the best for me? I AM pathetic, and You have always known that and what You want and expect is always what is most important to me. Here I am, change me.

I am still having my Autumn Leaves episodes. I'm even aware of the problem. Maybe it is just my reaction time. I am being obsessive about the burb. I do not have to read every journal!!! Bad, bad, bad, k!!!! I do not have to read every magazine and every newspaper that comes into the house!!!

I am wondering what blogs are, and why some burbs don't accept them. There is alot about the web that i will probably just do my k thing about....that doohickey,thingamabob, whatsis...learn just enough to be dangerous. What would it be like to be really good at something? To master something and be the object of envy and admiration. I don't think my soul is big enough for that sort of thing.

EE's devotional

newAutumn Leaves

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