2002-06-24 - 12:28 p.m.

Blessed event

2d was born 28 years ago today and 6 in the morning on a Monday. She was conceived at a very shaky time in my life. She was a complete surprise and very unplanned-for, except by You. She was the way of escape You had planned for me. 'There has no temptation(or trial) taken you except that is common to man. But God, with the temptation, has made a way of escape that you might be able to bear it.'

I was taking birth control pills which had worked for 10 years after having 4 babies in 42 months. I remember, in December while 800 was in Wyoming with the old bus trying to make a little money on a construction job, feeling a lump in my stomach. Nothing else in my physical life had changed and I thought it could be a tumor. I silently worried about it even though I mentioned it to 800 when he came home for Christmas. The weeks passed, the tumor grew, and one day in February, it shifted and the light turned on. Pregnant!! 800's reaction was as if it was a virgin birth and definitely not his doing and was shocked and disturbed. Another child at his age when we were having much trouble just dealing with what we had. It was just she and I for several months, but he came around and has doted on her the rest of the time. We called her Tuck for the last bit of her inside existence and were sure she was a boy. Thought of naming her Charles Tucker, which is very ironic in view of recent events.

As the spring progressed, 800 was able to get a new 4x4 grabber-blue rig to spray with and life was looking up. One June Saturday he and the kids decided to go up to the cabin to open it up, stay all night, and come back Sunday afternoon after having 2 good days of fly fishing. I was to stay home just in case, especially since I was so big and so uncomfortable. They left in the yellow Galaxy and Sunday morning I got up, dressed in the black maternity dress with a big white collar, climbed awkwardly into the grabber and went to church. Lazed around all afternoon and went to bed. The family got home at 9 that night and later I awoke with pains, got up, took a bath about 1 or 2 and woke 800. Finally about 5, we decided we had better go to the hospital. We were low on gas in the Galaxy, so we stopped and got some from the plant pump, then he stepped on the gas and squirreled around the corners, joking that since we hadn't done this in a long time and probably wouldn't again, we had better make the most of it.

Arriving at the hospital, as I walked up the steps, I knew it wouldn't be long. Instead of the day-long wait ahead at a hospital, this baby was coming soon. Sure enough, she got here before the doctor did, much to the surprise of an older nurse, who had never 'caught a baby' before in all her years of nursing.

That same afternoon as all the children (10 to 13) looked into my room through the outside window at their new little sister, she smiled at them. Nine pounds, 22 inches long, with 2 inch dark hair that stuck up all over her head, and a big smile. She has been raised more like an only child than in the middle of a family. Although everyone loved and played with her, and took her along on many of their excursions, there was still a big age gap and only now at full adulthood, she has a real relationship with them. As she was in school, they were either finishing, working with Dad or going to Bible school. She and I went back and forth to school all her school days except 2 years. When I worked at school for 10 of those years, she played in my classroom after hours while I graded tests and did the paper work.

I watched as she tried to make friends, join in the group, had crushes on a couple of guys and did the usual kid things. Not perfect, but always aware that she loved You and belonged to You. I worried about her being too self righteous but I see now it was not self righteousness but an inability to see any other way than believing in Your Word and trying to follow. She has always been levelheaded, even as a teen, reasoning through things, searching Your Word for the guidance of her life, disciplining herself in the study of hard things, going the extra mile in studies, forbearing others, overlooking weaknesses and generally being what she was supposed to be.

She has always been what every Christian mother has wanted for her son, but has never had a serious relation ship. I watched her through the 2 semi-serious ones. One in highschool, a very 'pretty package', fun to be around but not really interested in a good girl unable to play the flirtation game. Another, a few years out of school, a divorced young man, very much like her big brothers, and very interested in her. As she grew to know him better, she became convinced that a divorced person was not for her, at least not this one. I think this was quite a cost for her, but a year later, his wife came back and they were reconciled. They have met often especially in the summer at the church baseball games, and she has always been most careful to keep a distance because the attraction is still somewhat there, at least on his side.

She sees her future as one of singleness, not believing there is some one for her. She may be right, but she has a pretty formidable guard up and someone would have to be very determined to get past the initial wall.

I'm not sure her emotions have ever been stirred enough to 'fall in love'. I think a man would have to become a friend first, before a romance began. I hate to think her future is one of taking care of her aged parents. She is the peace maker in our family, giving hugs where needed, and helping family members whenever she can.

She still lives at home, but almost independently. She does not join us for most meals. She will visit a little with whichever parent is around when she gets home, but then goes to her music studio to teach, practice her own music, work on scrapbooks, read. Then she takes care of her cats, rabbits, and horse and goes to bed. She gets up early, goes to the racquetball club for swimming and exercising, stops regularly at a bookshop run by Christians for yuppie coffees, takes piano, violin, and riding lessons, plays piano at church and is financial secretary, has between 40 and 45 piano and voice students, is office manager at a bearing supply store, instructs all winter at a local ski resort, is taking up golfing this summer, goes to the hills with her brother and his children, visits her big-city brother on occasional weekends, and has a full, contented life.

She could have much deeper friendships with several women, but is the first to admit she is too selfish to give away any more time to deepen those relationships. She has been a joy to me all the days of her life. She encourages me, rebukes me when she thinks I am wrong, shares her problems with me but makes her own decisions about them. We do not always agree but can always be considerate with each other. I value her frankness and honesty even when it hurts. I am very thankful she is still close at hand, but if she were to move away, that would be her choice. She would like to have a little place in the country for her horse and other animals, but is buying a new 4x4 pickup and wants to buy a horse trailer next year. She also want to be centrally located for all her students and likes where she is for now. My desire for her is not necessarily marriage or children or riches but always to walk close to You and receive from Your hand what You have chosen for her whatever that may be.

Sometimes a mistake turns out to be a very good thing!

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