Saturday, Sept. 13, 2003 - 3:51 p.m.

Tristesse

An air of sadness today. No special reason, just a mood. 800 is at a sad auction. A local cowboy, also ski-instructor, died last year of chewing tobacco induced cancer. He lived his last years divorced from his wife and separated from his only child, a son of 8 or nine. Only saw him occasionally on visitation as the mom had moved far away. In our region another tragedy occurred of that nature when a mom moved too far away and a bitter custody battle ensued, leaving 2 dead. It is no wonder You hate divorce. I see so much of the ugliness in that subject at work and of course our own family has its sad little tale to tell.

I am always so thankful that You made 800 and I so mule-stubborn. Too ornery to leave the other and chance losing the children. The conflicts worked themselves out with time. The scars the family may have are nothing like the scars a divorce leaves. Am I too arrogant in this matter? I don't know. Probably the fact that You are the center of our lives had something to do with alleviating the circumstances and bringing healing. There are things that weren't done in the heat of battle that perhaps aren't preventable in a family where You are not present.

One thing I do know----You are longing to come into a family or a situation. You do not force us to change but Your presence does bring change, not always perfect but always there.

Things are winding up at work. Insurance and retirement decisions are having to be made. Tempers are often short and courtesy, the grease of civilization, is often in short supply.

I am still undecided as to the course I should take in the future. I shall trust You and listen for Your direction. Nothing new, that has been the course of my life for 40 years now and You have never let me down, even when the way seemed darkest.

EE's devotional

newAutumn Leaves

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