Sunday, Aug. 10, 2003 - 3:02 p.m.

Little sis

She and her husband are in Alaska for the first time, visiting their only child and his little family. It will be the second time they have seen their grandson except for pictures. He has copper red hair just like my dad, aunts, sis and oldest son. It is a beautiful colour and draws attention wherever the gifted ones go. Usually accompanying the hair are a sprinkling of small brown freckles across the nose and cheeks and greeny gold eyes.

Sis and I never got along well as children, and were probably squabbling when bus rider passed us that long ago night. She is five years younger than I. She is a cuddle bug and I am a touch me not and we had to share the same living room couch made into a bed.

I was Daddy's girl and she was Mamma's. She is and was very social and I just like books and horses. She likes to drink beer, sometimes to excess, and her living room is packed with 4 foot pool and volley ball trophies.

We do have some similarities. We both like to read alot. We both have been married a long time to the same men, despite all the things one might have thought would have made us both poor married risks. Her husband has real affection for her, but they live pretty separate lives. She was the disciplinarian of their son and has felt that drove a wedge between them. She should have had a girl, but there are wedges there also sometimes. When she was growing up, she had several Christian girlfriends and went to Sunday school and vacation Bible school. One would have thought she would be the one that accepted Your Son as her Saviour instead of me. She probably made the childlike professions of faith common to that era, and only You know whether she is Yours. I have never been able to talk to her very much about spiritual things, but I still keep trying.

It is much of my fault that she won't let me share my faith with her. I left home after years of ignoring her or fighting with her and our home life did nothing to build a strong relationship. I should have been her protector and I carry much guilt about that. But in my own defense, I was in need of protection myself.

Bus rider's family values and social status was so very far above mine that we did not spend alot of time with my family. Quick one day visits, in and out, and usually never to sis's house was the norm. I was always too gutless to protest, and too aware of the tawdriness of my past to push the issue.

In later years, as the children grew and were no longer apt to be tarred with my family, I mended my fences with my mother. We had never quarreled. I just never had much opportunity to spend as much time with her as I needed to until the last 10 years of her life. I like to think I made up for it then. I was always thankful that little sis was there for her. Even though I regretted I couldn't be there, I knew it was impossible. Finally when I was able to just go by myself or with the girls, Mamma and I had some very good times. This was when little sis and I finally became closer too.

EE's devotional

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