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2002-11-04 - 10:02 a.m.

A fresh start-Monday

'Be careful for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God----And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.' Philippians 4:6, 7

That is such an old familiar promise, but brand new in a current need. My heart had grown heavy at the start of church services when 1d brought e and sat down with us. d had stayed all night with a friend, and she flippantly remarked she didn't know where he was. e had a dirty face, runny nose, bedraggled dress and hair hanging down from clips that had been loosened. Mama didn't look much better. The two of them had been fighting after e told her she wanted a real mommy who could fix her hair. Naturally the thought was that 2d or I had said this to e, and we were told so. What a way to start a service.

As tears trickled furtively down my cheek, we sang Tell It to Jesus. My heart hurt so, I could hardly make a sound but I mouthed the words. The anger and frustration rose almost visibly in waves from my oldest daughter. And there was no way I could help her.

In the last 15 years, almost all traces of the dear girl I'd known have vanished. Once in a while she has a 'chinook' and traces of that person creep out into the sunshine, but as soon as the current crisis passes, the rebellious one takes over again. She has never taken the second most important step a person can take. To set one's face 'like a flint' to follow You. I long for that time to come, and yet I realize I had to struggle some really deep water to get to that place myself, and at much the same age as she is.

As the service progressed, all I could feel for her was sorrow and shame. And a vast hopelessness. But then, once again, the miracle happened. Philippians 4:6 and 7. Your promises are true, Your love is boundless, and You are not done with this girl of mine. Thank You for this time in her life and mine. Thank you for all the sweet qualities in her that can not be hidden, in spite of her confusion. And thank You for the peace of heart You give to me once again as I get out of your way so You can work the miracle You have planned.

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