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Friday, Jan. 22, 2010 - 1:08 p.m.
More good quotes
Subject: FW: Quotes I like Thomas. We enjoyed this page of quotes. Hope you do to. John and Mary Jo Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you
should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.But I was not
pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed,
but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen.
I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that
statement.
- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good
ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if
you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she
stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my
nap.
- Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its
way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid
you.
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... But everything else
starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to
go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
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And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
I love a good quote. Unfortunately, at my age, I can remember very few of them spontaneously. I can always remember Pogo's 'we has met the enemy and they is us' but that is about the only one that comes instantly to mind. 800 and I had a long discussion about where the title to his pickup is. He asked me for it about 2 weeks ago. I keep it along with the Marquis title and a box front from the latest underwear I like so I can remember which style I like. All three are tucked in the side of my lingerie drawer. Eventually the titles will make their way down to the metal file cabinets in 800's office that he turned into a nursery/incubator holder for chicks. But in the meantime......he is sure he gave the title back (since he cant find it on the table or by his recliner) and I am sure he didnt because I still had the other title and the underwear box front on my desk in the 'current' pile. Soooooo....my papers are back in the drawer and we will both look in our respective places for the missing title. Actually 800's final words to me after I suggested we look in our places, were 'I'll send for a replacement' Ah, such is life in Elderville.
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