2002-11-20 - 2:09 p.m.

The plot thickens

How could I go from walking all night long, doing my job, stepping right out even with a hurting heel to being unable to put my weight on my knee without a cane? That has been my journey in only 1 day.

I was fine on my Monday, even on a grueling line. The usual bad knee weakness, a renewed heel pain that had been lessened with thicker socks and heel inserts. I had a new pain in the good knee but not bad. Had a new tube of rub that I wrote about the other day and used it lavishly on both knees during break. My Tuesday was the 12 hour long shift and by the 6th hour, I was hurting. Used more rub at 8 and 10 breaks and had to turn my foot in as I walked several times to lessen pain. This worked for a while and then I was having to actually stop for 15 or 20 seconds. The final walk to the car with the other 2 ladies was horrible. I was even slower than our resident hypochondriac who has been wearing a knee brace in her latest pain chapter. That is what I get for having so little sympathy! I even shed a few tears as I sat in the car and cried out to You for help. I thought surely going to bed would see me better by the time for the next shift. Was I ever wrong! Pain in the 'good' right knee kept me drifting in an out of sleep, changing positions each time, finally awake for good at 9:30 pm, an hour and a half early.

2d suggested the compression stockings and they felt so good once I had wrestled them on. I even added the two elastic knee bands for good measure and I was ready for another day at work. Got there 30 minutes early and started making out lab papers for all the lines. By time to start, I couldn't walk and the pain was excruciating. Tears started to fall right in front of 2 supervisors which both embarrassed and angered me. One of them was going to assist me to my car, but I refused so he called the security guard for a pickup to drive me. That was even worse to contemplate. I certainly wouldn't be able to get into a pickup. Since it was obvious I would be unable to take my place in the lab, I would have to go home. I snuck out the door, but the supervisor caught me and walked me to my car, assuring me he was only accompanying me and would not touch me. I feel so bad. He was only trying to help. I know him well, and treated him rudely. I shall have to apologise when I return, if I can.

Those are frightful words to contemplate, but I must be ready for whatever happens. 9 hours later, after a sleepless night, I was in the doctor's office and then sent for an xray. I am on a medical until Friday, which is the rest of my work week. I go back to the doctor Friday for the results of the xray and then we shall see. His only instructions were to take more anti-inflammatory medication and double my blood-pressure medicine as the numbers had gone up significantly. He obviously knows I am going to be unable to walk around much and that has been the case the rest of yesterday and today. Even coming down here and doing a few loads of laundry has been taxing.

This may prove to be a workman's comp claim, and I have covered the bases by notifying the insurance person at work and the claim person in bigbigtown. They are reviewing my files now. The long delay when I fell at work 8 years ago before having a torn meniscus repaired first by arthroscopy, and then by total replacement put much stress on the good knee. Falling over a four inch high cone of cement on a darkened walk area last spring didn't help either. I am so glad the lead made me fill out an accident report even tho I didn't think the scraped knee and hand were serious. I have good insurance even if this is not accepted as a work injury so that is not what I am concerned with. What if I cannot work next week and the week after and the week after that? We are so short handed in the lab right now, and every one is needed both to work the required 12 hour shift once a week, but also to come in early or stay late when others don't make it from other shifts.

If I cannot do the lab work anymore, is there any other position open that the company would assign me to? Not likely after the big cutback. Would I then be laid off 18 months early? How would this affect my retirement benefits, retraining, ability to even work at another job. These are all things that are part of the future. I definitely do not want to go through another knee replacement.

Once again, I am silent before You. I cannot direct my paths. You know what lies ahead, and Your plans for me are plans for good to bring me to an expected end. Those plans may range from an instantaneous healing to provision of endurance to bear suffering. Selah.

EE's devotional

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