2002-09-16 - 12:04 p.m.

Ungreat

I have been a little 'down' for several days now. That is not a usual circumstance for me, but things in several direction are not at their best or even close. There is nothing I can do about any of it, so once again I turn it all over to You, where it always belonged anyway.

It doesn't hurt me to be despondent once in a while. Gives me lots more empathy for those who live there more frequently. Despondency is not like melancholy. I like melancholy. Gazing out the window on a grey drizzly day, drinking a hot cup of tea and thinking solemn thoughts has always been a balm to my soul. Of course, I have always lived in country where those kinds of days don't happen very often, except for a year on the coast. But I was so busy as a pastor's wife and mother of 4 children between 6 and 9 that I didn't have alot of time to enjoy those grey days. On most of those grey drizzly days, I walked down to the Post Office and wiped up muddy footprints in the parsonage and washed mold off the wall and kept the wood stove in the dining room stoked up and prepared or unprepared the guest room for missionaries and other visitors so I didn't have much sitting down time.

As I look over my past week, I can see some other causes for being down. I faced alot of stress at work(which I never recognize when I am going through it) I worked past exhaustion three nights in a row. I did yard work. I shopped. I felt the discouragement of several close to me. I taped alot of 9-11 shows and later watched them one at a time. No wonder I am low!

I must admit the shows I watched were interesting. The documentary about the probation fireman filmed by 2 French brothers who ended up on the spot at Ground Zero was especially moving. And the more scientific program about why the towers fell was intriguing. I especially liked the program about the plane passengers that were succoured by Canadians while the planes were grounded.

It brought back memories of staying in Vancouver in the parents' house of 1s and l's friends. The parents were at camp up north for the summer and the daughter called them and got permission for l and l's parents, and us(5) to just move in. We left the home as clean as we found it and restocked the cereal cupboard and washed sheets and towels. I tucked all the spare money I had left(about $40) along with a thank-you note into a sugar bowl. After the memorial service, all the relatives that had come up from Oregon, Idaho and Washington along with l's relatives came to that home and I made sandwiches and bought fruit and cookies for the 'wake'. I don't know what ever happened later, but the parents were a pastor and wife and I didn't even feel uneasy because I knew how glad I would have been to do the same thing. Some rewards only come in the hereafter.

Guess what? I don't feel ungreat anymore. You are so good.

EE's devotional

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