2002-07-14 - 3:20 p.m.

Funny

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are

not amused, you shoot him.

3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.

SIGNS OF WEAR

"OLD" IS WHEN Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "pick one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. (hasn't worked for me:-).

"OLD" IS WHEN You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

/P>

--The above is from bonnie's journal. I don't know where she got it, but I thought it was funny.

Then there is the cartoon I saw last week. Two lady praying mantises standing in the livingroom in front of the TV. Scattered in and in front of an easy chair are assorted bug parts, an overturned bowl of snacks, and a spilled drink. Praying mantis in apron says, "I told him to stop flipping through the channels with the remote, and he said, 'No way', and I said, 'Way' and he said 'No way' and I said 'Way' and he said 'No way' so I ate him."

I laughed and laughed after I read that, even though I was all alone.

EE's devotional

newAutumn Leaves

previous - next